WL Ticker

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

This post is Karen's fault.

I read Karen's latest post which included a discussion on percentages of macros...and graphs from My Fitness Pal.  It got me to thinking about those macros--not that I don't regularly think about macros, I do--and wondering if my actual eating matched up with my set goals as far as percentages of what I am eating goes.

Let me explain.  MFP sets up macro goals per percentage of calories consumed. (1200 in my case).  Those percentages give me actual numbers in grams.  From experience, I know that I need to pay attention to the grams.  For instance, I'm okay as far as my glucose readings go if I stay below  60 grams of carbohydrate a day  (This keeps my insulin doses far below MD recommendation--6 units before meals as opposed to 14, for instance. And, yes, lower carb would be even less insulin, I think). 

I also know from experience that my body is exceptionally skilled at turning protein into glucose ( Yes.  Of course it would be.), so I have to keep my protein down under 90 grams a day-- more than that sends my glucose soaring.  Additionally, per my DNA recommendations & my body's bathroom visits, I need to go easy on fat.   (Although, since I had my gallbladder out at age 20, that advice may have come too late.)  So, fat bombs aren't on my list of things to pop into my mouth.

 All of those considerations make for a tight parameter and a need to jiggle percentages to get the numbers to match.  Here's what I came up with:  Percentages of 1200 calories is: Carb15%, (45 gr)Protein 25% (75 grams) & Fat 60%. (80 grams)    I, of course, have no real idea whether or not those numbers/ratios are good for me.  time will tell.

And here's where Karen's post came in.

I've been logging in my food for a few months now.  Sometimes I go under calories, sometimes over.  (Lots of times over.) The thing is, although MFP sets gram targets per percentage, the daily tally of food eaten just lists the targets & breakdown of actual food eaten by calorie & gram numbers' no percentages are listed.  So, curious about my actual real-life percentages,  I pulled up charts for each macro and looked at only the days for which I was 1400 calories or under. And guess what I found when I figured the percentages.

Almost every day, even when my calories were on target, my carb percentages were WAY over 15% of my daily intake.  Now doesn't that just figure?

Whether my calories were at 1200 or way below 1200,  I often shorted my protein and fat to get to that desired calorie range which , of course, changed the percentage ratio.   Without realizing it, I'd been paying  close attention to the calories and generally choosing  low carb, but paying almost no attention to the actual gram numbers across the board.  One day, I only had 800 calories, but with 50 grams of carb, the carbohydrate percentage was 25%.  sighhhh.

And that may  explains why I sometimes have higher glucose levels when I test than I expected to have.  I thought I was becoming brittle (I mean, I've been diabetic for over 40 years, and it happens.) But it may be the percentage issue.  My lack of protein and fat may be adding extra oomph to those pesky carbs.

Or not.  I'm thinking on it.  :}  I really have almost no idea what I'm talking abut.  I  was surprised, tho, to see just how large a percentage of my total food intake is still being used up by carbohydrates.  That sneaky carb addiction dies hard, doesnt it? 

I need to talk to God about it; He knows all about this stuff.

And that's the weigh it goes,


P.S.  Hmmmm.  Upon rereading this to edit, it feels way too tedious.  If I continue to try to edit, I'll just delete, so--sorry about the typos and congrats to anyone who actually read to this point.  :}

Saturday, May 20, 2017

If Everything Falls Away

Sometimes dark places yield the most light, and I've been sitting in shadows for a little while now.  I can't explain it exactly for there's no one thing that's prompting that "my soul is downcast within me" feeling.  I just have this odd sense of loss.

But that isn't the point of this post, it's just the backdrop.

Last week, I started reading a book that is about accepting yourself as God made you instead  of seeking approval from others or, to paraphrase the title,  being free to be who you already are.  The author rather enjoys the sound of her own voice and tends toward the dramatic in her writing style, but amidst my eye rolls, I can recognize a certain charm and truth in her words. 

A few chapters in, she was writing enthusiastically  about her newfound freedom, but as I read, the thought crossed my mind that she was not yet free--she was fooling herself.  A chapter or two later, she expressed the same conclusion.  :} I stopped reading at that point and began talking to God.  About freedom.  About my currently sorrowful soul.  About this feeling of loss, the roots of which I am unaware.

And a line from an old Janis Joplin  song crossed my mind.   "Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose."  I let the song play through my mind and picked the book back up.  The author was talking about how she realized that she was still striving,, still seeking public  love as she went from speaking engagement to speaking engagement--telling women how to be free, still wanting to "count" to someone.  She wrote that she felt God tell her that she counted to Him--and asked her if Het was enough.   The author realized that for her, at that moment, it was not.

I put the book back in my lap and listened to Janis sing in my memory again.

And something I heard a long time ago crossed my mind:  True freedom comes when God is enough, when He alone is all you need.

Is God enough for me?  If all I know and have falls away,  and I am left  with God alone--would I still stand?  Would joy still be found in my heart? Would God, just God and nothing or no one else,  be enough for me?

When the answer is "Yes,"  then I am free.